The Show Must Go On

There are things that we all give up when we make choices and nothing lasts forever and blah, blah, blah. All of those things are very true – and yet I woke up today and realized that for the first time in ten years I will not be preforming, I will not be directing, I will not be getting to bare my soul and be vulnerable in front of a thousand people….and I feel so incomplete it hard to put it into words. I thought it was just something I really enjoyed doing and the more I am away I’ve realized performing is who I am.

I told my boyfriend today that when he starts making a ton of money I am going to quit my job and go back to performing.
While he agreed (wonderfully) the reality is that may never, ever happen. I may never stand on a stage again and sing songs or recite lines. The reality is may have left that part of me behind when I left the state. Ultimately, today I am not sure it was worth it. Maybe the wanderlust I felt was for the art and not a change of pace. Who knows – but with the recent loss of so many beautiful, shining lights perhaps I need to fight a little harder to hold onto that part of me that feels alive when I step onto a stage and look at a sea of faces.

I leave you with this clip – Mingulay Boat Song from the first years of From The Ashes.